The Ministry of Absence

A few of you have asked, and others might be wondering. What happens after I retire? Will I still come to church on Sundays? Can we get together for coffee? Will I be available to do a wedding? So I thought it might be good to share with you the guidelines that the UUA and the UU Ministers' Association have for retiring ministers. They ask that a retiring minister leave the congregation, and not perform any ministerial function for the members of that congregation following their departure. (So, no weddings.) They also ask that a retiring minister not attempt to become friends with their former members. It might sound drastic, but one source called it a ministry of absence.

If the former minister is absent, a space is created for something new to emerge. People are better able to connect with a new minister. First of all, this would be with an interim minister, whose work is designed to help the congregation in its transition. Then the congregation will vote to call a new settled minister. That minister will need time to get to know people, to make connections, to be there for you in a time of need, and inspire you with their preaching—to really become your minister. It is easier for that to happen if the former minister is not in the picture.

These guidelines for retiring ministers are put into place to support the ongoing health of the congregation, and the future of its ministry. They are also there to support the transition of the retiring minister. I will need time to sort out my new life, and who I will be in that life. I have not been making any commitments post-retirement, so that I can ease into that spaciousness and see what waits to emerge in me during the next phase of my life.

But there is another transition that happens maybe a few years later. Once the new minister is settled in, and things are going well, then the question can be opened up again about whether the retired minister might want to come to church or participate as a member or friend. Some retired ministers do become members of their former congregations, while others do not. At that point, it is a different kind of relationship. At that point, a retired minister might check in with the current minister to see how things are going and whether their presence would be helpful or welcome.

I was trying to think of an analogy that might help to explain it. Did you ever end a relationship with a partner, and wish you could be friends? I have had that experience. I learned that it can't happen right away. First of all I had to take time away from that person—to grieve the end of the relationship, and get really clear in my own separate life. But then, after a couple years of absence, I was able to become friends with some former partners. I think this might be true for ministry transitions as well. We need time apart to let go of the ministry relationship. But it may be that some day in the future, there could be a friendly connection.

Here is how I imagine the first couple of years. Margy and I will be staying in Portland, but neither of us will be actively connecting with members of Allen Avenue. We will go about our lives, and see what emerges. It may be that we will encounter members of Allen Avenue in that process—such as at a Permablitz or a rally in Monument Square or at the grocery store. It will be great to see you, and say hello, and do what we are doing together. We don't have to avoid each other in random situations. But we won't talk about church in that encounter. We won't ask how it is going at A2U2, and if you started to tell us, we would gently change the subject. Then we would go back to planting trees or carrying posters or getting our groceries. We live in the same town, so it would be natural to occasionally see each other.

One thing I do want to add—I will still care about you after I go. A2U2 will always be a part of me, and I will be a part of you. Maybe that is also why they call it a ministry of absence. It is another way to express that caring for this beloved community during this transition.

Affectionately, and still your minister for the next few months! Rev. Myke

Ministry to the World

As most of you know, I will be going on sabbatical from April 15 to August 15. One of the goals for my sabbatical is to finish the book I have been working on: Finding Our Way Home: A Spiritual Journey Into Earth Community. I feel the call of this book very strongly, and have been working on it for three years, during summers or other time off from my work at the church. But the essence of the book work is not separate from my work at the church.

Part of the ministry of our church is our ministry to the wider world. Just as I have preached to you, I have long felt a call to preach to the wider world about the spiritual journey of our times, the spiritual journey into full community with the earth. Every day in the news, we hear about horrific environmental destruction. We hear about wars and violence against people and animals. How would any of that be possible, if we really understood our connection to all beings?

For many centuries, spirituality has been considered as separate from the earth. As a child I learned that this earth didn't really count—heaven was what counted. It took many years to break through that delusion. And I am sure it will take many more for us to realize what connection to the earth might fully entail. The deeper I go into this question, the more I understand how broken we have become, and the more I am called to find healing and wholeness. I feel such hope and possibility in this.

I want to say how much gratitude I have to all of you in this community for valuing both our “internal ministry” and our “ministry to the world.” I thank you for granting this sabbatical time for me to be able to do this work, and I also thank you for pursuing an environmental journey as a congregation. I will think of you every day while I am away, and feel our bonds as a strength for the challenge I have taken on. I look forward to sharing the completed project with you when I return, may it be so!

I know that while I am away you will care for each other with love and kindness, and continue to live our mission with enthusiasm. I have witnessed your goodness first hand. We have always fostered a ministry shared by all, and that shared ministry will be the foundation for these months. There are also many resources in place for the church to be strong and healthy while I am away.

We have our very first Intern Minister, Lyn Marshall, who has grown connected to our congregation, and has shown herself trustworthy and talented. She will be coordinating worship and pastoral ministry through the end of the church year in June. We have a compassionate and gifted Pastoral Care Team. Do you remember that it was originally created during my first sabbatical six years ago in 2009?  Please call on them when you have a need to talk. You can email or call the church and choose ext. 13. We have a marvelous Worship Committee who will continue to offer lay led worship per usual and through the summer.

The Committee on Ministry will be a resource for the unexpected, in any areas of church life that might need support. Rick Grover is chair of that committee this year. And I want to honor and thank Clay Atkinson, our congregation President, who is a true leader, forward-thinking and hard-working. Help him out while I am away! I look forward to hearing the latest on our Church and Grounds Renewal Project when I return.

May you find much joy and many blessings during these next months. Please keep me in your hearts as I keep you in mine.

                                                   Gratefully, Rev. Myke

Ministry

This January, our Committee on Ministry will conduct a church-wide “Review of the Ministry.” It is a chance for all of us to reflect on the ministry of the church—both that ministry which is done by your professional Minister (me), and that which is done by everyone in the ministry we share together. As the committee and I have talked about it during our fall meetings, it was intriguing to wrestle with the idea that every person has a ministry. What is your ministry? How do you share your gifts with the world? How are you present to others in encouraging and compassionate ways? And how does the role of the professional minister intersect with the roles of the ministry of every member?

I will be looking at some of those questions in worship on January 5^th, as a kind of conversation starter for the small groups that will be exploring these and other questions in the two weeks following, led by the Committee on Ministry. Our hope is to provoke meaningful sharing and connection among church members, as well as to get feedback for the work of our church. It is also a chance for me to get feedback from all of you.

In our UU faith tradition, the minister is “called” by the congregation, rather than “hired.” I don't have a boss to report to—rather, I have a covenantal relationship with the whole congregation, and work collaboratively with the Board. Some of you remember when I first came here eight and a half years ago in May, and we interviewed each other to see if we wanted to pursue ministry together. But more than half of our members have joined since then, so might not know how it works. In 2005, there was a week including worship and meetings of various groups in the church, culminating in a church-wide vote about whether to ask me to be your minister. By so doing, we entered this unique relationship. I suppose it is something like a marriage, because it is important every so often to check in about how we are doing. So that is one purpose of these January meetings.

I hope as many of you as possible will participate, either through your Spiritual Enrichment Group, or through signing up for the special meetings to take place in people's homes, or at church. I look forward to this opportunity to enhance the ministry of our church.

In the meantime, I wish everyone a wonderful New Year! May this coming year be full of good things for you and your families, and for our church community.

Rev. Myke 

Journeys of my Soul

Greetings from Sabbatical Land!

I want to share some highlights of my journeys of the sabbatical, to give you a flavor of what I have been up to, as we prepare for my return to A2U2 in January.

There were some physical journeys-

To Unity, Maine for the Earth Activist Training, led by Starhawk and Charles William. It was an opportunity to explore what is happening to the earth, our home, and grow in my understanding of food, soil, energy, gardening, and hope. For those who like books, I might suggest The Earth Path, by Starhawk, for a taste of what we were studying. This is me learning how to grow mushrooms with inoculant and cardboard.

Later, Margy and I went back to Unity for the Common Ground Fair--our first time there!  Later, I learned even more, right in Portland at the Kindle Bioneers conference.

To Winslow Park in Freeport for time by the sea--the weather was unpredictable, and I honed my skills in setting up a tarp with poles and string. Nothing to do but watch the sea, make food, and maybe swim. Delicious relaxation!

To Acadia National Park, for getting more acquainted with this beautiful state we call home--and also learning humility in the face of my limitations, and confronting anxieties about heights.

To a Leadership in Ministry workshop, in Newton, MA, for work on family systems and its impact on the work of ministry.

To Ottawa, Canada for the Convocation of UU ministers, plus a journey into my ancestors world.

This is me sitting next to my great grandmother’s gravesite (the tiny stone) in Ottawa, the location of which we hadn’t previously known. Her name was Claudia Tremblay, and I have my middle name in her honor.

At Convo, I also participated in a preaching workshop, where we experimented with preaching without text or notes. Many new ideas to try! I was nurtured by the time in worship and fellowship with my UU ministry colleagues.

To Rochester, NY and to Parkersburg, WV to visit Margy’s family, and to visit my parents and two of my sisters. It was a time of integration for me--to really accept my family members for just who they are, and to really be myself with them more freely. This was the other half of the family systems workshop, for isn’t that the challenge with our families--to be ourselves and yet to stay connected, despite our differences? This is me and my mom.

These outer journeys were balanced by significant time devoted to the inner journey--

I think of it as the journey toward wholeness and integration of my Self--to explore the dimensions of my soul and personality, to revisit old dreams and make peace with old regrets, to nurture the divine spark within, and to come into deeper alignment with my truest calling and purpose.

I found a book that served as a helpful guide for this meditative work--called Kissing the Limitless, by T. Thorn Coyle. If you are looking for a real spiritual workout, I recommend it highly.

What else can I tell you about? Margy and I had some sweet relaxing time to be together. I took good care of my body by dropping sugar and wheat from my diet--it feels great! Lots of walks in the woods and by the shore. (And after these several months, I think I will loosen up to indulge in one sweet treat each week--I have to make a little leeway for those marvelous church potlucks.) I switched from a PC desktop to a Mac laptop, got a digital camera, and am enthusiastic about the creativity gently released with these new resources. I rearranged my office at church, and cleaned up my office at home. (Well, I am still working on that one...)

And I can’t fail to mention that I took some time out of sabbatical mode to canvass, hope, and finally grieve about the marriage referendum in November. I stood with my Religious Coalition colleagues, and the dedicated leaders of the No on One Campaign as we committed ourselves anew to the work of justice and dignity for all. We will keep standing on the side of love.

This last month of the sabbatical I am thinking about re-entry into A2U2 life. As you may recall, one of my questions going into the sabbatical was how to make a ministry that was a sustainable and balanced life, not a recipe for stress or burnout. Some of that work is within the self--how to be more relaxed about my life and less perfectionist and over-functioning, how to be aligned within. Some of that work will include a few changes in my weekly schedule, and I have been looking at patterns for my days and my weeks.

I am beginning to think again about worship, and enthusiastic about experimenting with new ideas in worship. I am looking forward to seeing all of you, and meeting the new folks who’ve joined us in the last few months.

Most of all, I am filled with a deep gratitude to all of you, the members and leaders of A2U2, for this gift of time. What a privilege it has been to go on this journey of the soul. I can’t express how much it has meant to me! I hope that the lessons learned will enrich my ministry with all of you in countless ways during the coming months.

Here’s to the New Year!

love, Myke